Tired Tuesday

           

Today has been sort of an "off " day for me and I`m not sure why. No particular reason. It was cold and dreary with a bit of rain.

I made the hour`s drive to the Cleveland Clinic. I feel like I could drive it with my eyes closed by now, I`ve made so many trips there! I received a good report. :)  My doctor says to me, in reference to this whole leukemia deal, " Penny, you have sailed through this. I know it doesn`t always seem like it, but trust me, you have!"

I suppose that`s true, compared to how bad it could have been. Some of the side effects are caused by the combination of meds and chemo, which lower the immune system considerably. When I was first hospitalized, no one could come and see me if they had a cold or were sick in any way. If a family member was sick, but had to visit me to bring me something, they had to wear a mask. Once I finally returned home, I couldn`t eat at a buffet or any place like that because of germs. I couldn`t eat fruit unless it was washed thoroughly with soap and water.

I`ve had enough antibiotics in me to last a lifetime! I was in the hospital over Christmas with pneumonia. In January I got shingles and what a nightmare that was! I had to be hospitalized again. For a short time, all the steroids I took made me diabetic and I had to learn to give myself shots to control it. ( That lasted maybe 2 months. ) Yet all in all, I have sailed through this. I`m not being facetious. I`m truly thankful that it wasn`t worse. Being relatively young and healthy to begin with also helped. And let`s not forget a ton of prayer!

So I guess what prompted me to bring all this up and talk about it is because tonight I am tired from another round of chemo and I am dreading all the meds I must consume this week. On the other hand, being an optimist at heart, I am happy to take them because they have kept me well.

There are times that I may not feel well and fear tries to creep in andtell me I am getting sick again. I suppose that`s a normal reaction, one that I do not dwell on.

So, today is just a mixture of all kinds of thoughts and emotions.

Tomorrow I start back to work. I`ve been on vacation since Oct 14th. A nice break. Part time is nice.

My daughter calls me the other night in tears. She spilled juice on her new Mac laptop and now it won`t turn on. We`re praying that after it dries out a few days it will work okay. I know other people who have done this without ruining their computers. Corey does her homework on it and has the software that`s made specifically for Macs. She was pretty upset and so was I.

I made an AIM page last night. Had fun doing it. It`s not much different from doing a journal. Here`s the link:

http://www.aimpages.com/penniepooh/profile.html

Okay, I`m off to watch dog the Bounty Hunter.

~Nite!