Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Know It All In 10 Easy Steps!

Most of you know that I love to read. A lot. Not just books, but also magazines. I subscribe to 2 or 3 that I browse through every month and occasionally I will buy one at the check out stand.


It occurs to me from reading said magazines that I am lacking in many of life`s important aspects.


For instance - I should know:


How To Have Better Sex and to


Know All His Hot Spots!


How to Lose 10 Pounds by Spring!


My closets should be totally organized by now.


Said closet should be filled with all the latest fashions, because I have learned that Gray is The New Black! And , ofcourse, I can`t go wrong with The Little Black Dress.


I`ll be able to afford these clothes because I should by now be able to Reduce my Debt By 20 % !


I should know how to relieve my stress in Every Situation.


My garden will be gorgeous since I`ve learned What To Plant Now and How To Transplant my Patio Into a Gardner`s Delight!


Dinner`s a cinche since I have learned 100 Recipes in Under 10 Minutes! ( on any budget. )


And ofcourse I should always look gorgeous from reading Easy Hair Tricks for Any Style! And my makeup should be flawless because I`ve learned How To Apply Make Up in 12 Easy Steps.


I should never be sick because I know How To Prevent Medical Emergencies and because I Know the Difference Between Cold and Flu Symptoms.


My house will be spotless after reading all the tips on cleaning products that Really Work and How To Make my Own for Less!


I should know by now How to Make My Small Rooms Look Larger, What paint to choose to Make A Bold Statement and Easy Tricks for Framing and Hanging Pictures.


For holidays I`m told How To Bake the Perfect Turkey, Thrill my Guests With Yummy Desserts, Make Snacks the Kids Will Love .... allonaneasybudgetyetstilllosetwentypoundsbysummerand


buyanewwardrobewithallthemoneyIhavesavedandbestress


freeandorganizedandhealthyandtrimandable


tosaynoandtogetthejobIloveandhowtohandle


problemswiththeneighborsandin-laws .....


In 10 easy Steps.


 


Should I demand my money back??


 

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

It takes so much time to just READ all of that so you don't have time to actually DO it! LOL!
Funny entry!
Pam

Anonymous said...

lol good luck if you can do that all:) have a good week

Deb

Anonymous said...

Ask for a refund Penny! That would drive you crazy if you did all of the above!
luv bella xx

Anonymous said...

You are so funny! I love magazines too...i subscribe to more than i should. It is one weakness for me.
I hope you are doing well. Stay warm and hope your part of Ohio gets sun!
XOXOX lisa jo

Anonymous said...

ROFL...I don't know about getting the money back but I sure think you need a good long nap after tackling all those projects....hehe  Love ya, Chris